1910 Days
by Danderdiff
Summary: L can feel death approaching as Light continues to play innocent. But in the end L knows Kira will be finding himself very lonely, incredibly soon.


A/N: This has a mention of LXB_  
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_"When L says Light is his first friend that's a big lie. He thinks very negatively about him."- Tsugumi Ohba_

******†** 1910 Days **†**  


Ryuuzaki popped another chocolate ball into his mouth the chewing of his mouth only amplified by the vacancy and the silence of the room. "My treats could really use some jam on top." Ryuuzaki commented offhandedly. Light Yagami yawned moving his hand to commandeer a pastry for himself. His hand was slapped away harshly fomenting him to jump his attention fixed on the pale jet black haired man. "Ryuuzaki!" Light cried in confusion. "Tsk, tsk, Yagami-kun. Bourbon ball pastries are alcoholic, and not for people under the age of twenty, Japan's legal drinking age." Ryuuzaki shook his finger in Lights face in a mock scolding fashion before rotating back to his computer.

Light sighed. "What time is it?" he grumbled. "Three hundred hours." Ryuuzaki said brightly placing his thumb to his lip. "You're in a favorable mood Ryuuzaki." Light said bitterly as he combed his fingers through his own hair. He could feel the grease at the roots, his hair needed to be washed. It was difficult taking good care of yourself when you were chained to the unhealthiest person in the cosmos. "I need you to double check these phone records of Kyosuke Higuchi and Takeshi Ooi for me. I am sending the link now." Ryuuzaki's voice drifted. The files immediately popped up on Lights screen. "Ryūga I doubt I'm going to find something that you haven't I'm far more worn out then you." Light protested. Ryuuzaki furiously shook his head, "No Yagami-kun, even if we got Higuchi and the notebook we cannot afford to miss a solitary detail." An untroubled moment passed, Ryuuzaki popped another pastry into his mouth and turned to look at Light suddenly cocking an eyebrow, "Why did you call me Ryūga a second ago?" he asked quietly almost to himself. Light turned to look at the detective. His eyes widened an action good liars tend to use when suggesting innocence. "Oh sorry, I always think of you as Ryūga since that was how you introduced yourself to me." Light turned his face letting a picturesque friendly smile spread across his mouth and he blushed. He can blush on cue too. "Actually I introduced myself first as L." Ryuuzaki corrected. "Oh yeah, I remember but sometimes it's blurry, I would have never imagined you would be this important to my life." Light said laughing softly. He quickly averted his gaze from Ryuuzaki back to his monitor. Bullshit.

Ryuuzaki would bet on every particle of his being that Light remember every word spoken, every second of that afternoon, it was Kira's first physical encounter with being humiliated.

Yes Light was very silent for a while. Ryuuzaki decided he was overdue for a session of getting under Light Yagami's perfect flawless skin. "Yagami-kun, what was your first impression of me?" Ryuuzaki asked trying to sound pleasant.

_He's going to say something lightly critical but remain flattering._

"Oh, well. I thought you looked a little eccentric and unhealthy but since you had gotten a perfect score I was actually really impressed." Light added a soft condensed chuckle, nothing over the top. Oh Light. Ryuuzaki internally groaned. He would never get over how fake and flawless Light wanted to pretend he was. "What do you remember most clearly of that day Yagami-kun?" the detective asked softly, "Probably the dark haired guy who sat funny in his chair telling me he was L." Light laughed at the end of the sentence, a perceivable nervous laugh. "You didn't like that did you." Ryuuzaki whispered leaning in close. Light leaned in the other direction glancing away from Ryuuzaki. "No, I just found it really strange." Ryuuzaki jumped up out of his chair leaning in uncomfortably close to Light who could feel his breath. "You were embarrassed weren't you, dumbstruck, angry..." Ryuuzaki suggested his voice was low, blunt, and daunting in its demandingness. A little light flicked on and off quickly in Lights eye, the corner of his left lip seemed to be quivering. But other then that, there was no sign of distress on his face naturally, "Ryuuzaki, I think those little pastries have gotten you intoxicated." Light said dismissively turning his face away. "I'm very much sober Kira." Ryuuzaki said staring directly into Kira's eye. "I'm not Ki-..." Light got up suddenly obviously annoyed. "I'm going to make coffee." he said sternly stomping away. Ryuuzaki felt a little smile spread across his lips. Oh, oh, he detested Light so much. He hated fake, fictitious Light so bad he could barely stand it. Light came back in the room still pissed several minutes later rudely slamming down a cup of coffee in front of Ryuuzaki while sitting down and sipping his own sourly.

This was the Light that Ryuuzaki actually liked. The lying narcissistic asshole with a god complex who walked around knowing exactly how he needed to behave to get people to adore him. The Kira inside Light, his true nature.

Ryuuzaki would bring that murderer to justice. He would bring Kira to justice. "You said I was your first friend but I can tell you don't like me." Light said lifting his lips from his coffee cup. "Clever boy." Ryuuzaki said quietly. Light gasped insulted his eyebrows knitting together. "Relax Yagami-kun, you are still my favorite type of person." Ryuuzaki popped another chocolate covered ball into his mouth moving his tongue over it. "Unfortunately my favorite type of person always seems to become a serial killer." Ryuuzaki smirked shaking his head. Light seemed to look interested. "Huh?" Light asked curiously. "Never you mind." Ryuuzaki hummed after dismissing Light's questions.

**†**

******45,840 Hours**

******†**

"Urgh! Ryuuzaki why do we still have to share a bedroom!" Light grieved in annoyance as he started loosening his tie.

_And now for your entertainment Light Yagami will be playing the part of Light Yagami the average sexually frustrated teenage boy._

"You're still a suspect, at least we don't have to sleep in the same bed." Ryuuzaki said sternly taking a seat on a plush sofa next to the bed. He had transported a collective platter of chocolate bourbon balls, vanilla cake and macarons, and a laptop to work while Light rested, "This is so annoying I haven't had any privacy in well over two months." Light crossed his arms practically pouting. "I suggest you rest Yagami-kun." Ryuuzaki said adjusting his sitting position momentary losing his balance once he regained it he looked up to find Light looking at him funny. "You're sure those things aren't getting too you?" Light asked sounding almost authentically concerned. "I guess I'm a little more tipsy then I would prefer, far from intoxicated... buzzed I hypothesize." Ryuuzaki admitted. "You are skinny." Light said sitting down on the bed. Ryuuzaki shrugged his shoulders in half hearted agreement. "You don't want to watch a dirty movie with me? Do you?" Light asked sounding so innocent, his voice with such a gentle inflection. This sent off alarm bells in Ryuuzaki's brain. "I'd need to be a lot more tipsy for that Yagami-kun." Ryuuzaki stressed the disgust in his voice as heavily as he could. "Maybe you should swallow down more of those balls then..."Light's blush was actually convincing probably because that was the most embarrassing clumsy failure of Lights acting career. It took everything in Ryuuzaki not to start laughing and call Light out for his phony malarkey. "Kira, in what reality do you think flirting with me is a good idea?" Ryuuzaki said sardonically. Light rolled his eyes actually looked dejected. "Oh come on! We'll throw blankets over our selves and watch a dirty movie on the hotel television!" Light scrambled over to the television sorting through the menu. "What kind of girls do you like?" Light asked smiling suggestively. Ryuuzaki stayed silent. This seemed ridiculous but the more he realised he was soon going to be killed the more having an awkward sexual experience with a beautiful high school youth didn't seem too bad. Switching off the lights the younger man throw all the blankets off the bed onto the floor in front of the television. Ryuuzaki slowly sat down with his back against the end of the bed pulling the blankets over him. Light got comfortable under the blankets but decided to sit a little closer to Ryuuzaki then too men watching pornograpghy together really should.

The eerie silence was broken by a womans lustful moan as the movie started. She had large heaving breasts and such an adorable phenomenal face. Ryuuzaki could hear the faint zip of a zipper under the blankets to his left. The girth of the man's cock sent an uncomfortable tingle of Ryuuzaki's spine he was not expecting. _"NO! No! Oh, oh! Yes! YES!_ She gasped dramatically. Ryuuzaki was getting half erect which was not comfortable in jeans but he still refused to do anything just yet. His eyes kept drifting to the beautiful youth next to him quite furiously stroking already. Of course Light had dropped the blankets far enough to see his erection. Stiff, pinkish, uncircumcised. Inspiring of his lust, lickable. Ryuuzaki's eyes drifted over it for too long. Before he knew it the first movie ended. "Damn I didn't finish." Light gasped he monopolized the controller selecting another movie and of course, almost predictably, Light selected a gay porno movie.

_A new cast member has joined the act, Light Yagami the sexually confused teenage boy._

Ryuuzaki wasn't trained for this...

Light of course started gasping, arching his back as his fist pounded on his erection. Of course he was more responsive the the gay porn, Ryuuzaki sat their annoyed and aroused trying not to watch the actors hump each other for too long.

Light came crawling closer and closer to Ryuuzaki's lap before he was practically leaning on him. "Ryūga!" He panted in lust. Ryuuzaki rolled his eyes as Light grabbed the front of his shirt starting to kiss his face. Ryuuzaki stood still like a statue awkwardly feeling Lights hand slip between his legs palming his erection stimulating him once more. Ryuuzaki had known from the start Light was going to pull this stunt but he hadn't anticipated his intelligence would win out over his lust for once in his life. Light's slim fingers found Ryuuzaki's zipper dragging it down and slipped inside his pants searching for his prize. Ryuuzaki's breath hissed when he felt Light take hold of his member, his hand's grip was far too rough. Light worked his fingers over Ryuuzaki's hand in the most appalling dry hand job Ryuuzaki had ever exprinced. It was sort of endearing how obvious it was Light had never touch another penis besides his own. Light seemed to be fascinated by the fact that Ryuuzaki was circumcised with the way he kept moving his finger around the head of his cock, suddenly Ryuuzaki realized his circumcision indicated he might have spent some time in America as an infant, and suddenly Ryuuzaki realised even having his dick around Light was hazardous. "Light." Ryuuzaki cleared his throat in annoyance. "Oh." Light gasped. God, he was acting like a little teenaged girl in a porn. Ryuuzaki had never seen such obvious acting. Light skimmed his hands down into his own pants drawing out his own cock and pulled himself closer to the detective to rub against him. Ryuuzaki let out a shaky breath of air actually appreciating the contact.

Light was so irkingly handsome the way his hair had fallen in front of his eyes, his lips slightly parted. Ryuuzaki placed his thumb to his lip chewing on the nail a bit before Light pushed his hand away from his face looking him straight in the eyes. A very odd moment was created Lights sharp bright eyes staring into him quite intensely. Light suddenly crushed his lips against Ryuuzaki's. Quickly a tongue inquiring entranced was slide over his lips and Ryuuzaki let his eyes slowly close enjoying the sensation of Lights erection conceiving a friction with his own. "I can't, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum." Light suddenly started reciting over and over again in a mantra."Shh, Light." Ryuuzaki whispered a sense of Déjà vu overcoming him. Suddenly there was some lubrication between them, Ryuuzaki peered down noticing a shining white drips of semen were seeping their way out of Lights red erectioning that was practically pulsing. Light suddenly came spurting out a lovely gush of whitish clear fluid."Ah!" Light cried out with a sharp hiss. "Shit!" Ryuuzaki pushed Light off of him resisting the urge to laugh. "I didn't mean to sorry!" Light ran off to the bathroom bring back some damp hand towels. "Yagami-kun..." Ryuuzaki's voice muttered as he watched Light wipe the semen off of him. 'You're erection went away! You didn't cum did you?" his voice seemed quite ashamed of himself and disgraced his cheeks and ears were quite scarlet and the colour was creeping down to his neck as well. Ryuuzaki left Light on the floor returning to his sofa with a quick zip up of his jeans. Light silently made the bed again bring the towels back into the bathroom he emerged minutes later sitting on the edge of the bed watching the mysterious detective with a fixed glare. Ryuuzaki looked up at him, "That was quite unbecoming I think you know..." it was practically a joke.

"I have no idea how to approach these things, I've always been good with girls, not boys..."

"Not that you're like the average guy. No ones ever challenged my mind like you, Ryūga!" Light added. He turned his face away from Light looking down.

"No ones ever challenged you, _period_." Ryuuzaki said dryly carefully choosing the best looking macaron.

"I just put you on such a pedestal! I feel so connected to you mentally! It's just after you Misa just pales in comparison. I mean- she's beautiful, and loyal, but she's just not you!" Light was raising his voice as he kept rambling in nervousness. Perfectly composed nervousness.

To some degree Ryuuzaki was sure it was not all lies. Mentally speaking a criminal like Kira once challenged would probably hold some begrudging respect for the person thats able to keep god on his toes.

Ryuuzaki supposed those emotions inspired Light to create a new angle where he had become sexually confused by his captive and now out of pent up sexual frustration and yearning.

Kira would wish to have the detective L become emotionally invested and intimate in with him undoubtedly unveiling many insecurities and submissive tendencies along the way, his premature ejectuation being one of them. This would all probably lull the average idiot into a state of trusting Kira.

"Y-you, haven't freaked out... you haven't said anything." Light's voice quivered. Ryuuzaki smirked shaking his head knowingly. A flash of anger sparked in Lights eyes again. Light must have realized his performance was far from convincing. "Ryuuzaki take me seriously! These are my feelings!" Light shouted annoyed he got up from the bed moving over to the detective. He stopped in front of his brown eyes burning with anger and frustration. "Light the first way to get out of a hole is to stop digging." Ryuuzaki said calmly.

Light was far from calm, he seemed almost panicked, but suddenly Light stopped and got silent his head lowering to the floor in shame. Light quietly walked back to the bed sitting down. "I'd, like to apologize Ryuuzaki. I got carried away." Lights voice said solemnly. "Your apology is accepted Yagami-kun." Ryuuzaki said regaining politeness and robotic disposition with every passing moment.

"I acted completely inappropriate." Light said furthering his self deprecation. "Yes Yagami-kun, a detective having a relationship with a suspect as young as you is very inappropriate." Ryuuzaki's concentration finally fully returned to his work for a few moments, Light got up and showered and changed into his pajamas in the bathroom and came back after many minutes his hair still damp.

He sat on the bed and sighed. He was quite apparently still upset, or pretending to be anyway. "How old are you anyway? You don't look that much older then me." he asked suddenly his tone perking up. Ryuuzaki sat for a moment considering if his age was appropriate information to give to Kira. "I'll be twenty five before long." Ryuuzaki said dryly. He stabbed a fork full of cake shoveling it into his mouth. "Soon? You were born in autumn?" Light asked pryingly. His voice was so innocent. "Yes Light, you are certainly the brightest mind of your age." said Ryuuzaki sarcastically. Light frowned. "I'm just so curious about you, can you tell me a story?" Light asked softly. He had no expression on his mouth but his eyes were so soft and pleading. Ryuuzaki groaned grabbing his plate of cake shuffling over to the window taking in the city lights outside. "What kind of story do you want to hear Yagami-kun?" he asked in a patronizing tone dreading the answer. Light put his hands in his lap his eyes fixed on the detective.

Ryuuzaki could see his reflection as he spoke shining behind him in the glass of the window. "I want to hear..." he began timidly. "I want to hear about the first time you were in love." Ryuuzaki scooped up some of the frosting from the plate stuffing it into his mouth. It was practically bitter now. "Yagami-kun if I were to tell you about the first time I fell in love you would never sleep again." Ryuuzaki said turning around and moving back to the plush sofa near the hotel's over sized bed. Light actually laughed at the joke. "I'm serious, tragedies don't make good bedtime stories." Ryuuzaki remarked sounding almost paternal. "I'm a big boy L." Light said in quite a flirtatious tone leaning forward. "Oh, now I _really_ wish I was drunk." Ryuuzaki said placing down his plate grabbing a chocolate ball from the tray. "Let me think of a way I can summarize you this story without Kira getting all the information he needs to kill me." Ryuuzaki said placing his thumb to his mouth. "Kira's not here." Light said in deadpan eyes getting darker until Ryuuzaki spoke again,

"Once upon a time in a boarding school, I fell in love with my roommate. Who was _very_-" "Wait!" Light interrupted suddenly. "A boarding school? Wouldn't your roommate have to be male?" Lights eyes sparked suddenly with something that was not very innocent. Ryuuzaki only arched an eyebrow looking disapprovingly at Light who gave an apologetic smile."You _ejaculated_ on me several minutes ago Light. This isn't too much of a shock is it?" Ryuuzaki asked in a condescending tone. Light grinned nervously and Ryuuzaki took a breath and started again, "-Who was very intelligent but quite neurotic, we'd talk for hours while we studied and our minds functioned in very much the same way. Ryuuzaki glanced back at Light whose ears had gotten quite red for whatever reason. "Luckily they caught on to my affections and so from then on we would sneak into each others beds. The end._ La fin. Das ende._" Ryuuzaki declared quickly. Light seemed to smile fondly, "Was it your first time?" he asked. "Yes, Yagami-kun that's what the story implies." Ryuuzaki said plainly. "What did he look like?" Light asked. Ryuuzaki sighed. "Well... back when I loved this person, he... well, he had soft long chestnut hair, he was skinny, and handsome-" "He looked like_ me_?" Light said laughing. Actually the laugh was the most genuine Light had sounded all night. "Well _no_, his eyes weren't brown, and he wasn't Japanese he was white." Ryuuzaki said.

He was starting to feel the pain start to prickle in his heart. "How did it end?" Light asked. "He went_ insane_." Ryuuzaki said weakly his voice nearly strangled. Light's eyes suddenly shot open. "What!" he gasped. Ryuuzaki sighed. A moment of silence passed as Light started wide eyed at the man. Ryuuzaki got up taking another trip to look at the night sky hoping it would cheer him up. The city lights provided no such comfort. "There was this thing at my boarding school, it was a kind of it as _valedictorian_ but much, much, greater." Ryuuzaki's voice was quite breathless. "He studied so hard, he wanted to be number one so badly..." "Did he kill himself?" Light asked. "No, but trust me Yagami-kun many people cracked, I think someone did kill themselves that year but. my first love, he... at the end of the year he wasn't crowned the winner, I was." Ryuuzaki voice dripped with heartache he figured he shouldn't be telling Kira all of this but, who could he tell?

He was probably going to die soon anyway and he'd never told a soul the story. "So he got jealous, went psycho, and dumped you? " Light asked. "I'm sorry Ryuuzaki." Ryuuzaki ignored him continuing on with the story. "-He was fine, for awhile, but a few days later I walk into our dorm and, he' had dyed his hair black, he had cut it like mine, he had stolen my clothes." Ryuuzaki mumbled. His eyes glanced to Light who looked quite disturbed. "He started killing people, I caught him in the end, I caught him myself." Lights eyes were wide and darkened after many minutes Ryuuzaki turned to look at his suspect staring at him with a cold gaze. "Kira you might have these childish idealistic notions of how to change the world, or how to manipulate me. But my attraction to the same sex, or my attraction to you, will never, ever, keep me from making them pay for their sins. You might sacrifice strangers for justice Yagami, but I have sacrificed someone I loved for justice." Once the speech left L's mouth he realized he had exposed to much of his repugnance for Light. But he could practically feel death approaching. Light never answered he didn't even yell his protest that he wasn't Kira. He sat quietly for a long time. "L, I am also willing to have others I care for die for the sake of justice." Light said eventually. He got out of bed bare feet walking quietly over to the detective. Light stood at his side in front of the beautiful skyscraper view of Japan. "L." he whispered softly. Looking down at the man slouching besides him. "There is this feeling I have, I don't think I've ever had it for another living person and whatever it is it makes me, cherish you more then any other human-" "It's respect." Ryuuzaki said stuffing his hands in his pockets shuffling over the the bed. That confession sounded different from the one Light gave before, it sounded honest. It was practically a repeat but this time it was like Ryuuzaki had heard it for the first time. It still didn't make him happy, or even blush. But at least he believed it this time.

Ryuuzaki unbuttoned his pants kicking them off and getting under the covers of the bed. It was the first time he had voluntarily gone to bed in months. Ryuuzaki felt the bed shift as someone sat next to him on the edge of the bed. "L, I not sure if want to hurt you but I know I have too." Light whispered moving his hand through Ryuuzaki's black locks. "That's practically a confession." Ryuuzaki said weakly he turned onto his back looking up into Light's doe brown eyes."Why am I always attracted to _serial killers_?" Ryuuzaki asked himself sighing. "That's practically a confession." Light said smirking.

Ryuuzaki frowned not at all amused his heart still tingling in pain. "We were made for each other." Light said suddenly. His tone was queer. He was not looking at the older man he seemed to say it introspectively. "We were made to destroy each other Kira." Ryuuzaki sighed. He felt Light grabbing his hand carefully looking over his fingers. "Hm, long but with chewed finger nails." his voice pondered as if answering an internal question. "Can I kiss you again?" Light asked quietly setting down Ryuuzaki's hand. The older mans black eyes sluggishly moved looking to Light who still wasn't facing him. "You can kiss me when you can stop yourself form lying to me with every sentence you speak." Ryuuzaki said letting his eyes close. The last thing he saw was Lights face turning to look at him insulted. "I don't lie to you Ryuuzaki." Light said in a pleasant tone. Ryuuzaki gave out a frustrated groan. "Oh just stop, _stop_." Ryuuzaki pleaded annoyed. He felt Lights lips brush over his own and he jerked his head away. "Ryuuzaki..." Light said moving down to kiss him again. Ryuuzaki swatted his hand up trying to move Light away. "Why don't you believe me!" Light shouted he grabbed Ryuuzaki's shoulders roughly leaning into him. Ryuuzaki moved his face to the side avoiding the kiss. "Believe you about what?" he asked. He stared up into Lights eyes again. Something softened inside of Light or broke, Ryuuzaki wasn't sure why, maybe Light saw how much Ryuuzaki was disgusted by him. "Why won't you believe that I'm not Kira and that I actually care about you!" Light yelled harshly, his voice nearly pleading. He was met with a harsh kick in the chest sending him flying of Ryuuzaki. The detective got up out of bed and started walking to the door. "I know your Kira because I'm smarter then you, and I know of your affections but they're not going to change anything." L left Kira alone in the room quickly grabbing his jeans before slamming the door.

******†**

**2,750,400 Minutes**

**†**

Ryuuzaki had went up to the roof to get some air. The dawn was just starting to break and everything smelled distinctively of rain, a storm would be coming soon. A notebook of death. _What a magical world after all. _

Light appeared behind him in the matter of minutes. Walking up quietly besides him. "It feels weird not being with you anymore." Light said quietly. "You will probably have to get used to it." Ryuuzaki murmured. Light slowly put his hands around Ryuuzaki's waist feeling the soft worn cotton of his short. "If you do die, I think I'll spend the rest of my life feeling positively lonely." Light said resting his chin against Ryuuzaki's shoulder. Ryuuzaki allowed it. "If your time with me has been the first time you haven't felt lonely, I should tell you, it will be so much worse once I'm gone." Ryuuzaki's voice was calm he felt Lights breath on his face, he appeared to be breathing in his hair and his neck, Ryuuzaki knew these were the last moments Kira would ever get to feel intimate with another human.

Ryuuzaki was so sure he would be killed soon, so sure he almost did'nt fear it. His work would be picked up by his successors, it was a shame he couldn't win the war himself but, the more Ryuuzaki thought about it, the more he realized Kira living in a world without L to challenged him. It would be the worse punishment. Little logical Near and passionate driven Mello could probably make quick work of vain Kira, he would underestimate their combined powers.

"I always felt alone before." Lights said kissing Ryuuzaki's jawline. His grip on the older mans waist tightened as if he was trying to squeeze enough out of the man to feel whole. Ryuuzaki sighed leaning his head against Lights as he watched the radiant rising pink lights creeping into the city. "Oh Kira, it will be so much worse." Light did not get tense or say anything of retaliation. "I really do think I love you, you know. He said softly. L stood basking in the warmth of Kira. "It'll be so horribly lonely." Ryuuzaki mumbled.

Light tightened his grip giving L's neck softly. "I can hear your heartbeat." he whispered.

**†  
**

**165,024,000 Seconds**

** Kira lived without L.  
**

******†**

The world wouldn't miss L Lawliet, the world did not know who L Lawliet even was. He save them all but his existence would die out just as silently as it came into being.

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A/N: Every pairing in Death Note is my favorite pairing. **  
**

I'm really incapable of writing a nice sweet Death Note story without making it so sad. I guess I like writing sad things I think they help serve a powerful story a little bit better.

Anyway reviews make me really happy, so I'd hate to be a bother but...


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